Motivation

I coach a U16 girl team here in Lexington. This is my first time ever being a head coach of a team, not to mention my first time coaching girls older than 12. Needless to say, it has been, and continues to be a challenging learning experience. I have been blessed with an awesome, hard-working, coachable group of girls. I love coaching them and learn something new from them everyday.

My biggest challenge/frustration is learning how to coach so many different personalities. This is no new revelation, as I have been a part of a team since I can remember...but now I have a whole new perspective. One that requires me to actually try and figure out how to motivate each of those different personalities. By motivate I don't mean jump up and down and try to get them excited. By motivate I mean to tap into their COMPETITIVENESS.

Competitiveness. Let me start out by saying that I am one of the most competitive people you will ever meet. I understand that there is so much more to life than sports and winning. It's not so much the winning that I'm addicted to...I just absolutely can't stand losing. At anything. However, I do think that a lot of good comes from losing. It exposes weaknesses and allows you greater opportunity to improve. It is also a source of fuel to drive competitiveness. Competition stretches you and challenges you to accomplish things you never thought possible.

Before I start talking about my team let me just say that this frustration of mine is something found on almost every girls team, not just this one I coach. So I'm at our practice the other day watching my team play 2-versus-2. I'm standing there getting angry because they are not getting mad when they lose. Some of them lose with an "I don't care" mentality. Now, I know I sound ridiculous right now. Come on, Kelsey. It's a stupid 2v2 drill at practice. Well....yes, true...but, the attitude portrayed in the "little things" is a reflection of when we get onto the field during games.

So as I'm standing here getting angrier and more frustrated, I am trying to figure out how to FIX this. How do I MAKE them be competitive? How do I MAKE them get angry? How do I MAKE them set higher standards on the field? I almost snapped, but decided that could get ugly, so I let practice continue and for the remaining hour it continued in the same complacent attitude it had begun.

John Wooden, one of the greatest coaches of all time defines competitive greatness as, "A real love for the hard battle, knowing it offers the opportunity to be at your best when your best is required." Coach Wooden has a "pyramid of success," which is composed of many different qualities that make a great athlete. Where do you think "competitive greatness" falls? It's definitely not a corner stone and it's not even a building block. Nope. It's at the very top. The TOP. Meaning it takes so many other MORE IMPORTANT QUALITIES to reach it.

Driving home after that practice I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Here I am getting mad that I can't MAKE people be competitive. Wake up. There are other qualities that must be learned, molded, challenged, and refined in order to become the best athletes we can be. Work ethic. Loyalty. Self-control. Leadership. Discipline. Dedication. Condition. Poise. Confidence. The list can go on.

Dang. THOSE are the qualities that make a great athlete and, therefore, a competitive athlete. So initially, I was angry at the lack of competitiveness. The more I think about it, I am frustrated with a lack of EXPECTATIONS. Meaning...getting the most out ourselves, each and everyday. Whatever it is that we are doing, (in this case, soccer), we have an opportunity to get better everyday. It's like...why show up to a practice or a game if you aren't going to walk off the field absolutely drained, emotionally, mentally, and physically, with the satisfaction of knowing you literally have nothing left to give? If we don't push ourselves beyond our comfort zone, we will never know our limits.

So...back to me wanting to FIX all this. Let me rephrase my initial thinking. I know that each of these girls has so much potential. As a coach, it's my job to help them to reach their maximum potential. On the surface, this seems to be a lack-of competitiveness. Ultimately, however, the problem and solution lie in other, much more important areas. It is up to me to teach them and coach them in the areas...firstly leading by example.

The question now becomes how do I push them further than they ever thought possible? Or, as John Wooden puts it, how do I get them to "be at their best when their best is required"?