Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Wildcat turned Demon Deacon...?

No more blue and white. Just gold and black now. 

I've been here at Wake Forest for a little over a month. Let me just be honest and start by saying that it isn't easy adjusting to a new place. It's like starting at square one...you are always lost and everyone you meet is new. At the same time....I have absolutely loved my time here so far! It's a cute city and the University is amazing. There are only 4500 students, so it has a small school atmosphere with big time athletics. The weather is beautiful...sunshine and 80 degrees almost everyday!

First thing I am learning: I don't know how to make friends. I'm kind of joking, kind of not. I mean, I've been on some sort of team my entire life up until last year. I have had 30 instant-friends around me all through college. Now I actually have to put myself out there. Dang. Ok, it's not that bad, haha, but it's just different being on the "other side" of things. I'm an outsider. A nobody. I'm not an athlete anymore. I'm not at UK anymore. So I just have to be patient in building new friendships because it takes time. But I do love meeting new people...everyone is so unique and it's exciting meeting all kinds of new personalities. 

I am also learning a lot about the HEART. Not the anatomical one. But the one where all of our feelings are. AND all of our wounds. The place that we like to guard but that we must open up to allow for healing. And Jesus wants ALL of it. It's easy to become numb to life. But I want to LIVE and FEEL. It's not easy. In fact, it's probably going to be painful...but totally worth it. We are all hurting in some way. We have got to let Jesus dig deep into the places in our heart that we have shut down because, whether we realize it or not, those places are keeping us in some type of bondage. We all have broken hearts...literally. But the cracks let the light come in. We are called to be FREE from anything and everything. This is hard to grasp because nearly everything on earth can be some sort of "chain." This means that we have to continue to be real with ourselves, with God, and with those closest to us. Somewhere along the line we have just got to trust. It's scary but it's also the most amazing thing in the world: to let more and more of your heart be redeemed by the only One who knows who you truly are. 

As I talk to my friends back at UK (who I miss dearly), I have been so encouraged to hear what's going on there. I had the chance to pour my life into some of the athletes there and now THEY are the ones leading! How sweet is that?! It's Jesus...and it's a ripple effect. They are passionate and it's contagious. People see how their life has changed and they want the same thing. As someone once told me, "The Spirit is attractive." :)

One more thing. We don't need to "do" anything. I hear people say how they need to "do better" or "try harder." No. That's crap. All we need to do is have faith...even if it's as small and weak as a freaking mustard seed. God tells only to come to Him. As we do this, he drowns us in his love and grace. That means it's never ending. Drink it up. 

I lied...one more thing. I don't want to "walk" with God. I want to SPRINT towards Him. Is anyone else coming with me?

"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may find grace and receive mercy in our time of need." -Hebrews 4:16